AREN'T WE INTELLIGENT!
was sent to Amanda through a chain email. (argghh, ya'll don't DO
this was really funny, so we put it up on the site for ya'lls enjoyment.
In case you needed
further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are
some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Aussie(R) hair products: COMMON SENSE CAUTION... (smart @sses)
hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time
I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag
of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar
of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel
provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. (?????)
Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
& Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you
sure??? Let's experiment.)
for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save
more time?) (Whose body?)
Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean
kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets!
What's for dinner?)
On a string
of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed
to use in outer space or underground)
On a Japanese
food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet,
On a Swedish
chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)
On a child's
Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
WORLD's internet guest book: Under the email address field, it states:"Warning:
by submitting your email address, you may receive email from the guest
book owner or other viewers" (Ummm, isn't that the whole point?)
Potato Chips: SEE SIDE PANEL FOR NUTRITIONAL INFORMATON (What tha...it's
a CYLINDER. Cylinders don't have SIDES!)
dryers (the tags they forbid you to remove): 1. DO NOT USE NEAR OR PLACE
IN WATER 2. DO NOT USE WHILE BATHING (well, it's either they're contradicting
themselves or they bathe in something else other than water...) (Thanks
Anne for sending this in.) (Amanda's comment...okay, let's be
redundant. I'm going to be washing and drying my hair at the SAME
getting in eyes. In case of eye contact, rinse immediately with water.
For external use only.
shampoos their hair outside? hahaha, just kidding!)
also on the same note: What's up with the "Lather, rinse, REPEAT."
So, once you shampoo your hair, you have to keep on forever or what?